Last night I got home from work, turned on the TV and nothing was on so I scanned through the channels and Dr. Phil said he was going to be talking to a woman who had lost 100+ pounds after weight loss surgery...so I cued in and watched it.
It was amazing...it was as though I was sitting there talking to him...I could SOOOO relate to what she was saying. She said she felt she had "lost her identity"...and that's what I have been telling my husband for about 6 months now.
It's sorta like an orange once you've taken off the rind...the rind protects the "inner self" but once it's removed the "inner self" is exposed....and it takes on a new look (this is my analogy here). Vunerability is a definite...not sure of what to expect...and then the separating of the orange segments...and the individuality begins. Each segment of that orange represents something in us...fear of rejection, fear of "what if", who am I, what am I supposed to be doing, where do I go from here, failure, set-backs, etc.
However if we take those segments and turn them over to God, He will take care of them...He has a plan for each of us and His ways are higher than our ways...He loves us and protects us...He IS, He WAS, He ALWAYS WILL BE. We have to trust Him wholly, knowing that whatever we are going through He is our Guide, our Protector and our Father.
I struggle with handing it all over to Him and leaving it there..."Here God, take this...and this...oh, wait a minute I can do that one." I need to learn to leave it at the foot of the cross and rely on God to see me through.
Father, I come to you today, bearing this open flesh, giving it over to you to heal, to guide, to protect. I know that I must rely on You to see me through no matter what. Help me to leave my "stuff" at the foot of the cross and live the life you have set out for me. Show me where You want me to go, how You want me to serve. Give me Your peace that only You can provide. Amen!